Our happiest days are the days when we feel most free.

When we overcome the internal dialogue that plagues us, we can relax and live as we are meant to live – in the present, enjoying life. But overcoming that dialogue is hard. We carry so much around within us. And should we ever start to quieten our minds, our devices provide a reminder. They prod us.

So what is it that our minds torture us with? In general terms there our two categories, yet within them quite a broad range of worries.

We will start with the past. We allow ourselves to be haunted by our own past. It is common for us to remember the things that we have done that we regret. We worry about the things that we haven’t done. We remind ourselves of the things we have lost and what we miss.

We then have the future. Thinking about what may happen in fantasy scenarios that we have convinced ourselves are inevitable, or getting obsessed about the things that we still have to do. We also have the big deal – that presentation, meeting, interview, date, etc. We allow the thought of that future to become our mind’s obsession. We are also continually absorbing news and current affairs that historical would be esoteric but now sit within a generalist media, easily accessible. We are weighed down by global concerns which can be a long, long way from ever touching our personal experience.

So, with our mind constantly pulling is into the past and then pushing us into the future, how can we ever be in the present?

Mindfulness is the solution proposed and used by millions of people. Yet, more and more, mindfulness provides just a temporary break from our natural propensity for anxiety and when we close the app, finish the session or complete the activity, we are quickly drawn back under the sea of those anxieties.

We need to see mindfulness as training. We should do it regularly, consistent in our approach, trying to get improved longevity from what we have done. Dropping in and out sporadically will only ever provide us with that temporary relief. We have to find what works for us and schedule it, assess it. Consider it a training program, like going to the gym or taking tennis lessons. We need to be honest about our investment into it and we must be honest about how it is working for us or not. Making changes as we go.

We also recommend some practicalities. Things that take some of the noise away. Try these simple techniques:

Regrets – if you are constantly plagued by something that you did or didn’t do, take some time to consider it. If you can, it’s helpful to write down your regret. Once you have done this, consider what you could do in the future to make what has happened better. If there is something, and it is something that you want to do, write it down. That is your action. Whether there is or isn’t something that you believe that you can do, look at your regret and zoom right out. Consider each person involved one by one. Consider their entire life, the length of it, the scale and complexity of it. Consider everyone that you know and their lives. Think about where this will be in their minds, now, in six months, twelve months time. Perspectives can make all of the difference. Now revisit any actions.

To do – if there are things that you know that you need to do, write them down. If you have time, schedule them. If not, just put a placeholder in your mind when you can schedule them. For example, you may say that 5pm on Sunday I will get my planner, diary, schedule out and I will then plan for these things. If you’re worried that you just aren’t going to have the time to complete everything then schedule the time to get help, to speak to someone about what can or can’t be done. Put things in the planner.

The big deal – it can be natural for us to worry about big events. But we are capable of scheduling our worry! Although this sounds a little odd, you will be surprised how well this works. Whether you put time in your diary or keep it in the back of your mind, establish a good period (an hour, say) during a day just ahead of the event. Schedule it as preparation and worry time. Yes, preparation AND worry time. Once you have done that, every time you feel your mind wondering to this stress, remember, you don’t need to consider that now, you have it in your schedule.

These practicalities will help. But we must not forget the mindfulness training. We can get better are being right here, right now. We can get better are living our lives how they are meant to be lived.

We just need to break free of ourselves.