We allow ourselves to become stretched. Overcomplicated lives with too many connections, too many distractions and too many responsibilities.

The human spirit needs to grow. The sense of personal achievement, self-actualisation and general pride stem from a sense of development and progress.

Many of us continue to try to drive forward, pushed on by the need for progress. Socrates argued that happiness stems from virtue which is a result of knowledge achieved by personal growth. We have an instinct that drives us toward this growth in all of its forms.

With our modern distractions and commitments, the time to achieve this has been vastly reduced. Our interactions with a consumer-led culture and multifarious social connections eat up time in a way that our evolved selves cannot absorb.

In searching for the time to grow we often sacrifice the time to maintain. The impact of growth is leached away into replacement and we forget about the appreciation of what we have, of who we are. We run faster to crawl forward and no longer feel the wind in our faces, only the stones on the floor.

We need to cultivate our appreciation of what we have and who we are. There is no better way to do this than to invest our time and our effort into maintenance. Contemplation, relaxation and conservation bring us back to the now and the sense of achievement. Control is obtained without creating additional burden.

Self actualisation can be achieved through the sense of prowess in our ability to keep what we have – a beautiful garden, a serene temperament, a polished watch, a bountiful relationship, a joyful heart. Looking to what we have close at hand builds the most solid foundations for our sense of self.

Consumerism, social media and twenty-first century culture all strive to push us away from this approach. They each strive to drive desire for what we don’t have rather than appreciate and adore what we do.

Optima vita is achieved when we recognise that we must develop the ability to filter out the noise and to spend more time on maintenance – of ourselves (emotional, mental, physical); of our relationships (family, friends); and of our possessions (big and small).

Once we have these things under control we can lift our gaze and move forward, with the skills and awareness that, whatever our next objective, when it is achieved it can be maintained. This is real growth – not striving for replacement. The journey becomes more delightful and our short lives can be sweeter and more evenly paced. Our desires reset to assist our happiness rather than trying to destroy it.