We are nothing but the now plus our memories.

We are defined by our reactions to our circumstances. Our actions are guided by our evolved instincts and our conscious and unconscious histories. As a moth flies to a flame, our conscious brains fight against chemical instincts and unconsidered biases to make decisions and guide us through our day to day lives.

We try to plan for our futures but these plans are based on hopes and fears that we have determined by passing external stimuli through our internal filters. These filters are also built from instinct and history.

Our memories deliver the foundations for our joy. Whether derived from love, epicurean delight or the pride of our self actualisation, it is our memories that anchor our feelings.

How well do we curate our memories?

Our prehistoric brains have a mechanism to promote memories of fear and risk as it drives for survival. Our tendency to replay uncomfortable and unpleasant situations holds us in a grip despite the fact that none of the situations presented in these memories were a real existential threat.

We have to then consciously dig for the happy and enjoyable memories and force ourselves to enjoy them – all the while we have the pressing interruptions of negativity.

Breaking this natural flow requires effort. Journaling our joy and then reading back in the future can help. Memory disruption of the most repetitive images also helps. This requires recreation of the memories repeatedly in a slapstick, bizarre, amusing or downright ridiculous form. Focussing on this eventually unlocks an ability to dissipate the less overwhelming of our remembered misfortunes.

For more ingrained or harrowing memories some form of therapy is normally required. Good therapist can help work through the worst histories, pushing the impact back into the dark, allowing the joy back into the light.

Not everyone needs such intense work. We need to just focus on the mental curation and training to refocus on the good, happy stuff that our brains like to lock away. These are our memories and we should take ownership of them for our own benefit.